An epiphany.

I’ve been strugglings with certain boundaries.

Sitting at home scratching my head and bemoaning the way someone else behaves.

Why do they do that?  Telling stories of how they behave and how hurt I feel. This has been going on for the past six years.  All the while I have been giving and supporting and chasing and allowing.

Allowing.

I have been allowing this.  I have let them put on their sturdy boots and walk all over me, I have even invited it.  Ignoring or avoiding naming my hurt and anger because I am afraid to lose the relationship.

In the moment when I realise this there is sadness. And also determination.  Because I can do something.

I can change my response.

I can say; my time is valuable.  I am too.  I respect my friends and family, and in exchange I expect them to show me an equal respect.

Respect means kindness, consideration.

This is my line.

And they may choose to walk away.  Refuse to engage. They may feel that if this is the new game plan they no longer wish to take part…That will be painful.  Awkward.  I will feel guilt.

But carrying on without these lines, is disrespectful to myself.

And I deserve better.