All of a sudden it’s spring.
I have waited for this for months and now bulbs and blossom are emerging. Nature has been a great teacher the past few years, noticing the patterns, the rhythms, reminding me of my earth-bound self.
This new growth plugs into something deeper.
Because with transition to something new comes the need to let go of the old.
I like to draw cards. Oracle or tarot cards. I sit for a few moments in quiet, shuffle, pick a card and see how it reflects my day, my week. I read the picture, I look for patterns and connections.
Yesterday my cards were about huge life-changing shifts and about self-care.
Which was interesting.
We are currently planning a house move. This is a choice, having considered all the options it’s the best way forward. However it’s also a sadness. This is the home where I raised my children, I have tended it and the garden for over thirteen years. Additionally my youngest son is planning to leave home and set up in his own place. Another huge life transition. I am at the point of wanting to decoupage my life. Fix in place the memories, varnish over them again and again, preserve them, freeze them.
Or I can gather them, like seeds, and scatter them into the air, watching the wind take them, to plant them somewhere totally other and allow them to grow in unimagined ways. I will need this second frame to get through this year. The frame of release. Releasing the winter to allow the spring, releasing the past to allow the present, releasing the known to allow the new.
Such huge shifts come upon me like a sudden meeting, here right now, in my face, no time to prepare, no time to anticipate. It is real and present. I am on the verge of panic some days, wanting to control it all, plan it out to avoid the unforseen, my childhood conditioning kicking in with a vengeance.
I visualise myself as a seed. Plucked suddenly from the seedhead, from the anchored space. Drifting up into the blue, admiring the view below, weightless and free and ready for possibility.