As part of work on Beth Maiden’s “The Alternative Tarot” course ( see http://tarotcourse.littleredtarot.com/) I’m currently drawing a card a day and working with a journal to reflect on this. Sometimes my question is along the lines of “What do I need to know today?” today it was “What do I need to hear today?” I woke up feeling really poorly and unsettled and sad for no obvious reason so I wasn’t sure what would come up. Maybe something fun like a four of bows, with flames and dancing? Maybe something to reassure or console?
I am using The Wildwood Tarot this week, which is beautiful and timeless and I am fast falling in love with (http://thewildwoodtarot.com/). I shuffled the cards, split the deck and paused for a moment to see where I should draw from. This is the card.
Which is somewhat dramatic but made me laugh too. The figure here looks to me, today, very woebegone. She is struggling literally against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Not only is she wounded many times, she is also tangled in powerful brambles which tie her down and restrict her. She stands on a rock where the image of a skull is carved suggesting loss.
This reflects exactly where I find myself today. The sense of insecurity and fear are powerful, both due to physical health and changes in my personal and professional life. I am reading, presently, about the cycle of life/ death / life we experience (see Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, chapter 5) and am deeply aware of my own desire to avoid the “ebb” times in life, those times when I need to let go, or step back to allow for new growth in future.
The guide suggests that we need to forgive ourselves ( and sometimes others) for past mistakes in order to help us heal from our unfounded fears and insecurities so that we are ready for new growth. I find myself thinking about a situation where I am in a job which I know is no longer right, about how this has been the case on and off in different jobs for several years as I seek a work pattern which enables good health and balance and how often I am critical of myself for this. This is a timely message, reflecting the mood of the day and indicating a healing next step.