I started a new venture this month. If you know me you won’t be surprised. I like new ventures, the fresh page, a new packet of seeds. This isn’t something I would have imagined though, not given my history of Christian heritage. But I can see the signs which brought me here along the way, through the years.
I have started training with Vanessa Sage (www.sagepriestess.com). We are right at the beginning of the year long programme. I have days where I’m so excited, where I want to drink it all up and soak in the wonderful teachings and the wisdom of all those I share the circle with. And there are days when I am afraid, wonder what I’m doing and who on earth I think I am.
I’ve been in that kind of space before though. What I am beginning to understand is that your path, whatever that looks like, is just that. Yours. You can’t learn it from someone else, though they might be the next signpost. You can’t put on what they do and inhabit it. That would be just like living in an empty shell. The shell may be beautiful, but it isn’t yours. Gee but I’ve been going down those roads for forever already. Seeing how others do their journey and wanting to be in the place of flow. Imagining that grace can come if I put my feet precisely where they have stood. That’s a kind of discipleship I suppose, there’s nothing bad in that, we need it for a time. But there comes a time to dance your own dance, to shine your own light, to sing your own song, to carve out your own shell, unique and crazy with rainbow spirals and all the glitter you can muster (image from #gaiantarot Three of Fire).
So this is it. The priestess path. Beginning to be the “living priestess” and working out what that means exactly here, in this skin, this space. Emerging into the light, wings damp but growing stronger.