My eldest child is gender fluid. Being familiar with living in this space, I can tell you it can be more than a little uncomfortable. When your own physical form doesn’t always match the way you relate to yourself…that’s dissonance and then some.

They are seeking to live , in their own words, as authentically as they can. That is, from my perspective, brave.

I didn’t realise, though, how brave until we went out yesterday.

All four of us went early to the retail park, and none of us enjoy crowds, so early is always a shout.

The first instance was in the Lego store where we were perusing the splendour on offer. An older woman did a double take when she saw Tom. Then looked at her daughter, then both laughed, not unkindly, just in a surprised way.

The second was in Greggs, where we stopped for coffee. I was following my eldest to a table and saw a thirty something couple staring at him with an unfriendly gaze. I looked them both in the eye.

Now, I am guessing my eldest must be used to this kind of reaction. They have told me that they have been  called “disgusting” before.

My wondering is, about these people we encountered, what exactly was so shocking or distasteful?

The outfit was a long grey tee with a steam punky  image, a pair of walking boots, thick black tights, and a flared knee-length black skirt. If you swapped the skirt for jeans, no one would have batted an eyelid.

This brings me back to my starting point. Clothes are just clothes. Whether you are assigned male or female at birth, it shouldn’t matter what you wear. When women began wearing trousers more regularly , firstly with the invention of the bicycle, and then more widely during World War 2, it did cause a stir but we got over it…I hope it doesn’t take us as long this  time.

And once again, we see how queerness, in all its forms, unsettles and disturbs people, challenges the status quo. How it calls out complacency and fixed mindsets, how it points to bigger questions about the kind of society we live in, and the kind of society we want to live in.

In light of everything going on in the world right now, having strong opinions about who wears skirts really does seem a waste of energy.